I will not post the entire message that was sent to me on another journal site. I won't reveal how I know this person, because they have the right to some privacy regarding their identity. I decided to post part of her message to me. Does the message hurt? sure. What hurts the most is that this person knows that what she is saying is a lie, as will my sister who reads here, because my sister obviously witnessed Sarah's visit with us to Holland in 2004. So much for "no interest" in her, I would say.
There is a vindictive person who I was once friends with. This person is very angry and bitter and has decided to post pretty vile stuff on her journal trying to hurt me. I have let most of it roll off. Sometimes I pray for her. Sometimes I just roll my eyes. Other times I have sent money for Christmas gifts for her kids via a mutual friend, because I hate it when they are so tight financially that gifts for holidays are an issue. Contrary to what she believes, I wish her well. Regardless. I don't like her much at this point. But I do care. She enfuriates me at times. But I still care.
A lot of what is being written now is that I "gave up a child when it was no longer convenient" and I "bought a baby in Ukraine" a child that she says I will give away when I am tired of him.
This evening I found a message from her adult child in my inbox.
I will spare you some of the really raunchy stuff. This is the last part of it:
"If only Sarah had been so lucky to receive such interest! Well, hopefully your next new child will be more worth your time. If it's damaged, I'm sure you can get at LEAST a partial refund, huh? "
You all remember Sarah. I suppose we did not give her enough attention or time. 5 years of boomerang foster care and nearly every single weekend of either home passes for her or us visiting her at the group home when she was unable to maintain in a home setting is apparently nothing. . I can prove this with documentation in no trouble flat, but there is no need to go there. Sarah ended her own time in foster care, she chose a different lifestyle than life in a family. There was little we could have done. No child was ever given up on in this home. The system might have given up, but I did not.For the record, we covered our journey with Sarah in our homestudy, so no secrets there.
What floors me is how low a person will go. "If it's damaged, I'm sure you can get at least a partial refund"
We are talking about a small boy with Down Syndrome here. My son. People who speak that way about a disabled child..."you get get a refund, if IT's damaged...." ...people like that need your prayers. I don't care how low they go to slander me. They need prayer in a big way when they refer to him as an object that can be returned for a partial refund. That is an attack on HIM. A child. A child with a disability.
So would you pray for these people?
Thank you.
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3 comments:
Good job handling the situation with grace and decorum. To joke about buying a child or getting a refund on a "defective" child really makes me sad. There was one little girl on Reeces Rainbow who was "returned" by a family in her country because she was "not perfect". It makes me sad that so many children are left without families because they are "not perfect". No one is perfect.We are all flawed. It is entirely possible for a child to be born "perfect" and for all of that "perfection" to be gone in an instant. Would you love a child you had birthed less if they had an accident that made them become disabled? I hope not. The fact that you have chosen to adopt a little boy with a disability speaks to your character and your willingness to LOVE a child for WHO they are not WHAT you expect them to be. He is a lucky boy!
And with regards to Sarah, I do not know the situation but I ask the reader not to judge. They have not been there.
I'll leave you with a quote from John C McGinley. He plays doctor Cox on scrubs and has a child with DS. a son. like yours.
It defies rational thought as to why you would pick on that group. There are 190,000,000 kids and adults in the world with intellectual disabilities...7.5 million in the United States. When you pick on that group, you've picked the perfect storm of cowardice to exercise your vitriole, because they are not going to return serve. Because that's not what they're equipped to do. They are equipped to love, not fight. So why pick on that group. It doesn't make sense- John C. McGinley
Sarah was my foster daughter. She had a hard time managing in ANY family setting and we are the only ones who stuck with her no matter where she lived, whether it be in our home, residential, back home with us or some of the other not so savy places she chose to be. We never disrupted on her( she was also never adopted so that term is not accurate) but she ended up in residential at the insistence of the system. She was allowed to come back when she was able, and did, but she needed lots of treatment.
I am not always handling this situation with grace, trust me.
I handled Sarah's placements with commitment and love until she no longer was in foster care. There is nothing to judge, it was handled the only way possible, which was sticking by her through thick and thin no matter her choices. The comment about retruning a defective child was meant to mean I returned Sarah when she was "defective", which was not the case. Sarah's caseworker was worried she would harm the kids in our home and wanted her in residential. I am not sure how that is "returning" a child when you have no choice in the matter and she later gets placed back with you. But that comment insulted my child, and yeah....that was just the saddest thing. He cannot fight back, that quote you posted is so true.
Dear sis,
I have been reading your Blog and....I just want to say to you that it's Totally not important what this person thinks of you or is saying about you .
It's a shame that he/she puts it om a public internetpage but....
God Knows your heart is pure and loving for every single child that comes into your home.
And that's what counts!
I'm very proud of you .....
don't you ever think i'm not!
and Sarah?
I know she loves you and you know it too....
nobuddy can judge you about this....when they haven't been there....
I know you love her...and for ever will.
seems to mee this person is just
jealous..........
Love ya sis!
huge hug....marijk
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